Chappell Roan is likely both right and wrong here regarding unhappy parents, but here are my two cents on it all. Chappell likely has friends who don’t have a lot of support that is needed when raising children, and most of her critics come from backgrounds where that support wasn’t an issue. Of course, I have no sympathy for her critics because many of her critics keep voting for policies that make it harder for families who don’t have a lot of support to get support.
Growing up in my hometown of Sidney, Nebraska, my parents wouldn’t have been able to make it if it weren’t for having my paternal grandmother nearby for childcare. Even in the 90s, childcare was expensive and even more so for a family of five barely keeping our heads above water, often with help from the government. I can’t tell you how many times we received SNAP benefits, and my baby brother (now 14) wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for Medicaid. If it weren’t for federal student aid, I wouldn’t have received a college education. In essence, my current life wouldn’t be possible if I had to rely on my bootstraps since I never had any to pull myself up by.
For those who are parents and it’s all ups, ask yourself this: are you worried about having food and shelter tomorrow? Do you need to worry about your children having adult supervision outside of school? Do you have to worry about affording school supplies? It takes a village to raise a child, and for some they don’t have a big village to rely on. A family of five in Nebraska tends to average $330 a month in SNAP benefits, which isn’t a lot ($65 per person per month). When you have to pay $1000 a month in rent, $1000 for childcare, and another $1500 at least in other expenses, you need to at least have $5000 in gross income just to get by.
In more rural areas, you’re lucky to get that $5000 a month in income on two incomes. Rural areas tend to charge just as much in rent as more urban areas. For instance, my 30-year-old brother has a 2-bedroom apartment (he has a son) in Sidney that costs him about $1000 a month. My La Vista 1-bedroom apartment (single as a Pringle) is about $1200 a month. My brother pretty much survives on VA benefits, whereas I have a software engineer’s salary, meaning more of his income as a percentage goes to rent than mine does. Finding a decent paying job for a disabled veteran is incredibly hard in rural areas, so he’s had to rely on a lot of support from our family.
In conclusion, the culture of rugged individualism in our country has made it really hard for people (especially families) to get the support they need when they need it. Our country needs to normalize reaching out and asking for help since it’s not a sign of weakness, and we need to normalize ensuring those who need support get it. That’s nice that some people were able to succeed without government help, but not everyone comes from affluent backgrounds.